Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother’s Day! Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mothers out there!

Let’s talk about what that means, shall we?

Being a mother doesn’t require that you birth a human from your loins. Mothers come in all shapes and sizes, mothering many creatures.

Two legs, four legs, fins...whatever.

Let’s be real: an animal is much like a small human—except they never talk, eat things they’re definitely not supposed to, and generally relieve themselves in undesirable places. Hmmmmm...it appears that they are in fact EXACTLY THE SAME. 

This dog was my first attempt at keeping anything alive other than myself. It seemed easy enough until I had this squirmy 8-week old puppy in my arms and realized I needed to teach it everything it needed to know about life. We both learned from each other, and Oz became my constant companion throughout my twenties. We went through some really ridiculous shit together. I wasn't there on the day he came into this world, but I was there on the day he left it and it broke my heart.

Then, I met the most amazing man and we knew pretty much immediately we had found a once-in-a-lifetime love. When we married, I didn't just marry him. I also married the most amazing seven year old girl who thought her daddy hung the moon (still does).

Now I had to figure out how to be a stepmother.

WHOA. 

Let me just tell you something: being a step-parent is the hardest job in the world. It is an awesome responsibility to parent another mother's (in my case) child. It is also not without its struggles. In my case, I stepped into the life of a seven year old girl who didn't have strong female role models. It became clear that she would watch so much; how I interacted with her dad, the fact that I went to work everyday and loved my job, and the fact that I had gone to college were all things that were very different for her to see in a woman for a variety of reasons. Now she was watching me. On the days when we had struggles, where everything I said, she did the opposite, where every time I said it was black she said it was white, it was so, SO hard. But there were also days when we had awesome girl time together and bonded, and I started to feel like I was shifting her view of women and her place in the world. There are more of those days than the hard ones. I hope that being in her life will influence the decisions she makes for her own life.

Then this guy came along.

Oh my goodness...I grew a human. And he is a perfect little human. Those of you that follow along on social media have watched this little person as he is growing. It's an awesome task to be totally and completely responsible for keeping someone alive. Especially when they cannot tell you what is wrong or what they need. You have to figure it out. And they don't talk. And sometimes you think you are absolutely going to lose your mind.

There are times I am still completely astonished that he is mine. When we visit the pediatrician and I have to give permission before he gets a vaccine, it's WEIRD. When someone from the CVS Pharmacy calls and asks to speak to Lincoln's mother, it still (he is almost two) takes me about five seconds before I realize I do not have to hand the phone to someone else.  

He is still alive and thriving, so I seem to not completely suck at it.

Just as I have a responsibility to my stepdaughter to raise a strong woman,  there is a responsibility to raise a strong, respectful man. He is watching how we do things, just as his sister is. I know that he will grow up to be an amazing man, because he watches his daddy treat me in a simply amazing way. If my son grows up to be half the man his father is, my contribution to this world will be complete.

These days, there is so much pressure on mothers. The moment people know you have a child those same people seem to have an opinion on how you are raising yours. 

Here's the thing: Eff them. Yep. I said it. 

You are raising that kid ("you" meaning, yourself and yours, if applicable), not them. So what they think: Does. Not. Matter.

The end.

Whatever decision you make, because your gut told you it was the right decision, is the right one.

So here is my Mother's Day gift to you (you are welcome in advance): cut yourself some slack. Drink some wine. If your kids go to bed at the end of the day with their bellies full, butts clean and some guidance from you, call it a win.