Not in a minor way, either.
In a completely grown up, curl into the fetal position kind of suck.
This post does not have the typical humorous tone that this blog is known for. We are going to have to put our being-an-adult-sucks-sometimes pants on and have a little conversation.
About a year ago, we planned a family vacation with my parents and my brother's family. The last time we all went on vacation together was about five years ago and we had a blast. Since then, our families have grown. We were really excited about doing it again, San Diego was our destination, and Mission Beach would be our home for a week. Sun, sand, the ocean, family....ahhhhh. Heaven.
Those of you that follow us on social media know that the two months leading up to our vacation were stressful times. Mr. Books and Bats' father was quite sick. The four or five weeks leading up to our departure were alternately a situation where he was stable and gravely ill. We were not sure about even going on vacation until just a couple of days prior. However, with the doctors telling us that he was stable, we felt comfortable leaving and flying across the country.
We flew to Phoenix on a Friday, got a good night's sleep and got up Saturday morning to drive to San Diego. From Phoenix it is only about a five hour drive and a 40-degree difference in temperature. We started to decompress a little from the worries we carried. Checking in two or three times a day via phone and texting constantly, we were kept updated on the situation at the hospital.
Early Tuesday morning, we got the phone call that we had been dreading. Mr. Books and Bats was told to come back immediately. His dad was declining and probably didn't have long. We put him on the first plane back and my sweet husband was able to be with his dad when he passed on that Thursday.
What follows next is what this post is about.
Consider this your public service announcement. Listen up.
If you have a family, or anyone at all that cares about you in any way, you need to make plans for your final arrangements. Please do this, particularly if you have children. If you are lucky (and I use that term loosely) you will have some advance warning that a loved one is about to pass on. Many are not that lucky and the loss of a loved one happens suddenly.
Final arrangements are not something we like to talk about or even think about. But having those arrangements made in advance will be a huge weight off of your shoulders knowing it is all taken care of. If you have children, you are giving them the gift of not having to make those decisions or have those worries in the time when they are freshly grieving. It's uncomfortable to talk about the subject with your family, but tell them what your final wishes are. You must have these conversations.
Some things to consider:
- Have you created a living will? This tells your loved ones what your wishes are if you cannot make informed decisions for yourself.
- Create a will that allocates your assets and states your final wishes once you're gone. If you have children, who will care for them in the event you or their other parent is gone?
- Get a life insurance policy. There are many different kinds, ranging from short term, final expense coverage to longer-term policies. The financial burden that is lifted as a result is priceless.
Hug those you love a little closer tonight. Call your parents. Be willing to ask the uncomfortable questions of those you love so they can give you the gift of knowledge before it is too late.
***I am not an attorney or insurance agent. This is not advice in an official capacity, but rather advice from one human to another. It should not be interpreted as anything other than my own opinion based on experiences. You should consult someone in these professions for advice specific to your own situation and needs***
